Sunday, May 28, 2006

Church #4: Summerside United Methodist Church

1. Who attended? Bradley & Erica... Bradley's comments will have to wait for a bit because he is out of town until tomorrow night.

How was the experience?
1= I was so uncomfortable and/or offended that I did not stay to the end of services.

10= This church was welcoming and thought-provoking. I would recommend that others experience this church.

Brad: 3. This Church lacked what it needed.
ERICA: 3. I wasn't uncomfortable, so to speak... I was completely unmoved.

3. Picture(s) of the church

4. Name/location of the church:

Summerside United Methodist Church

638 Batavia Pike
Cincinnati, OH 45244
(P.S. This church has a yahoo account. Boo.

5. Was it recommended to Church Hop?

Nope-- we had very little time this morning so we picked a church that was very near our house.

6. Time/duration of services:

8:30am--9:30ish am

7. What type of religion did the church cater to?


8. Who did you meet?
Nobody. They even skipped over the "peace be with you" part, even though it was in the service program.

9. If applicable, scans of handouts, tracts, etc

10. Church Hopper’s personal experience with the church, additional details:

ERICA: "That was weaksauce."

Those were Bradley’s first words when we left the church this morning, and I couldn’t agree more. My guess is that the later service—10:40—would be more upbeat or colorful, but the early service was incredibly bland. There was a guest speaker, I believe, because the normal pastor was out of town. She was alright, but she was very…matronly? And she told the kind of stories that a grandmother would. Stories about the darnedest things kids say. That sort of thing. It kept a pleasant smile on the face of the congregation, though, which I would guess averaged at 50 years old.

Basically what I’m saying is that the service was targeting an audience much older than us, so maybe it was perfect for them. I can’t fault them for that, but it definitely wasn’t my speed.

Their service program was helpful, like the Lutheran program, in that it was labeled when I should stand, what page the hymns were on, where visitors should sign in, when the collection plate will be passed, etc.

The church itself was pretty enough, if you could ignore the fact that it looked out at a Marathon station. It was a pretty basic setup, and they had a copy of the floor plan at each pew so I could see that it was a pretty massive church. Basic pews, basic hymnals and Bibles, basic altar, etc. They had some crazy rainbow stuff happenin’ on the crucifix… not sure what that was all about. Just exaltation, I guess.

Oh, and finally a church without a band! This one only had a creepy, creepy organ. (Which wasn’t being played all too well, by the way.) We came in to hear “Battle Hymn of the Republic,” which struck me a really weird though I guess it shouldn’t have. The hymns were standard and annoying to me—I guess I’ve been spoiled by churches with bongos and electric guitars. Again, not their fault, and probably perfect for a geriatric crowd.

Brad: Ok, I've always seen this Church as I drove by Summerside road. I've also always wondered what it was like inside it. It had the basic set-up most churchs of it's time have, the large facing wall to the street. When we went in, the cold feel of a bad church was as thick as smog. The pastor, who was (contrary to the sign) an older woman, gave one BORING sermon, and really lacked direction, thought, and all-around common sense.

This church was indeed, weak sauce, and needs to get it's stuff together. The mass and other people seemed to be a collective age of one million. But despite the lousy sermon, the older folk, and the less than fun preacher, the overall church wasn't that bad. It was a fairly clean place, with bright colored fabrics stretching across the room.

I would say this church would do in a pinch. But not my first choice.